Nonfunctionality
by Luciiraptar
Summary: "I would risk nonfunctionality for him." Angst, EDI/Joker


**A/N: Just a short little thing I wrote, mostly because nobody else has yet. Based on that line in ME3 where Shepard and EDI are talking about Jeff and stuff. Angsty angst angst angst. You're welcome.**

* * *

_I would risk nonfunctionality for him._

It was, EDI supposed, a self-fulfilling prophecy after they crashed. She wasn't sure where they were, as the strange blue energy had disrupted her systems before the crash, but she had a few guesses based on position, speed, and direction. A few, though, was too many for her. She had requested more information and, for days, that was what they gave her as they attempted to repair the Normandy.

On the first day, Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams came back with reports of carnivorous and omnivorous wildlife.

On the second, Lieutenant James Vega brought word of large aquatic life resembling native creatures on Thessia and Sur'Kesh.

On the third, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy reported seeing large, armored herbivores that seemed to enjoy attacking their predators. With that information, EDI made her inferences, and came to a conclusion that prompted her to ask the crew to work faster.

They were on a resort planet.

Resort planets were first established five years prior; they were envisioned as a place where extinct or endangered wildlife could flourish. They were also incredibly dangerous.

With that in mind, Liara T'Soni and Javik had set up a system of watchers. If anything came close, one of them would be alerted, and they could use their biotics to form a barrier, or deal with the creature. Whatever they deemed necessary.

Slowly, with little to do on the Normandy, EDI had began pouring more and more of herself into the mobile platform. Her… body. Slowly, she allowed herself to become more and more like her organic colleagues. She made code that… felt. She figured out complex ways to give herself emotions. But sometimes she thought back to those words she had spoken to Commander Shepard.

_I would risk nonfunctionality for him._

That was still true. Whenever she saw Jeff, she felt a surge of love. She had felt it for a long time, but only recently adjusted to recognize it for what it was.

She would gladly risk nonfunctionality for him, for the chance to lightly kiss his forehead with her metal lips. It was difficult, their relationship, but not impossible, and both of them clung to that.

Over time, as it became apparent that they weren't going to be going anywhere soon, they began venturing away from the Normandy for more than just scouting. In order to preserve the food they would require on long space voyages, they hunted. EDI and Liara tested anything brought back before it was cooked, of course. And EDI insisted on feeding Jeff. She ensured he consumed his daily caloric needs.

Usually it was James or Ashley who hunted, as Tali refused to let Garrus out of her sight and Javik refused to do something so 'primitive', which seemed to EDI a strange thing to say when one was cooking with fire (to preserve the Normandy's fuel) and relying mostly on found water.

After all, they still had guns. They weren't hunting with sticks.

EDI was on one of these hunting missions (and had killed two large avian creatures, which she believed were native to one of the human colony worlds) when she heard the loud whistle that indicated something was coming near the Normandy camp—and then the sound of rifles firing.

She dropped her kill and ran.

EDI's mobile platform was capable of accelerating to twenty kilometers per hour in a little over one second—but by the time she arrived, the battle was already half-over.

She could see numerous reptilian creatures with metallic carapaces, native to Palaven, but the fact didn't stick in her mind as much as two other things.

One, all of the others were carefully shooting at the things, timing their shots and aiming delicately. Javik and Liara were both maintaining barricades instead of launching biotic attacks.

Two, Jeff was on the ground, unconscious.

EDI wasn't aware the gun slipped from her hand as she charged, and she was barely aware of her omni-tool spawning a long blade which plunged into one of the creatures standing over Jeff.

Immediately, EDI turned, and her hand found the face of another, which promptly burned as her omni-tool launched a plasma round into it. When she risked a quick glance backwards, she saw Vega barreling out to grab Jeff—and then she was too busy delivering another slash with her omni-blade.

It was then that EDI felt thick claws ripping through her mobile platform.

She held on for another few seconds—launching another plasma round, delivering another powerful punch—and then she dumped all of herself back into the Normandy in one huge data burst.

There were repercussions.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Joker. But she knew—dumping all of that data in less than a second… she didn't have time to sort things out, to put them in their proper places. She might never gather the processing power to do that."

I shake my head. "No. She can get better. I just have to… have to help her sort through it all. She can get better." She has to. She can't live like this—this AI version of dementia. She has to get better.

I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder, and Javik says, "She was brave, Jeff. She ensured you could get to safety. She… loved you, and you should remember that."

"How much does it burn to say that?" I ask him, a little bitterly.

"Not much." The Prothean shrugs. "But, your EDI… she was good. For what it's worth, human, I hope you can fix her. I enjoyed our debates."

I nod slightly, and glance at Liara, who just looks down. I slowly and carefully make my way to the bridge, where EDI's flickering hologram waits patiently. "Hello, Jeff," she greets. "Is it day or night? I cannot access the function." She pauses. "Why can I n-n-n-n-n-n-n…" She trails off on that one letter for a few seconds, then her avatar snaps to meet my eyes. "Hello, Jeff."

"Hello, EDI." I settle down in my pilot's seat, that likely won't be used for a few more years. I don't leave the ship, not since… the incident. Tali is still trying to piece together EDI's body. Those Palaven animals tore her up pretty good.

"Jeff, why are you sitting in the pilot seat? Scans indicate there is no function in the engines."

Shepard told me what EDI said. EDI herself told me the gist of the conversation, but Shepard told me the exact wording. She risked nonfunctionality for me.

"No," I say with a forced smile. "There isn't, EDI. But I like to sit here and talk with you."

"Oh." She smiles. "I enjoy speaking with you as well, Jeff. Jeff, a self-diagnostic I performed reports that I am operating at seven-point-three-two percent efficiency, yet my hardware seems intact."

"Yeah. You did something, EDI. Your software's a little messed up. You just need to connect everything in the right order. I'm going to help you with that."

EDI shudders for a moment, then blinks. "Hello, Jeff."

I sigh quietly. "Hello, EDI."


End file.
